More Jesus, Less Me

We've all been there - felt that stab of jealousy as someone else gets whatever it is that our own hearts are set on. We're just born with the desire to be on top, to be first, to be recognized by others as the best. Hang out with small children for more than two seconds and you're bound to witness at least one fit if someone else wins the game, gets to be line leader, Star Student, or whatever place of honor another child covets. As grown ups, we still struggle with our smoldering selfishness - we've only gotten better at hiding it.

But here, in John 3:30, we see a radically different way of thinking - a way of viewing oneself that is completely foreign to natural man. John the Baptist's disciples anxiously approach him about Jesus' rise to popularity among the masses, but contrary to our natural knee-jerk reactions of self-preservation, John responds in beautiful humility. It's this Christ-exalting position that Jesus praises, calling John "the greatest man born of women" (Matt. 11:11). John's response sets the example for all who would follow Christ with seven earth-shattering words: He must increase, but I must decrease.

This should be our singular goal throughout each and every day - more of Christ, less of me. But, how do we do this? How do we go against the grain of the very fiber of our naturally self-promoting hearts?

First off - through prayerfully seeking God's strength to do so. We can't muster up such an upside down view of things in our own feeble power. But He can. If we are in Christ through saving faith in His work on the cross, then that same Spirit that raised Him from the dead is available to us! He is able to do miraculous works in our hearts, scrubbing us clean and removing impurities in our personalities, through the power of His transforming Word (Rom. 12:2).

Secondly, we see Christ increase and ourselves decrease in our lives by settling our sense of self-worth in Jesus, not in how we perform or what accolades we're given. If we are in Christ, the question of "am I valuable?" (which is at the root of so many of our selfish ambitions) is already answered with a resounding Yes. So there's no need to frantically struggle for appreciation in this world - we are bonafide children of the King...how could we ask for anything else?

Thirdly, we decrease and Christ increases when we make it our aim to treasure Him more every day - to see Him as supremely beautiful amongst all else in life. We must constantly remind our wandering hearts that Christ is what it's all about (Col. 1:15-20).

Is there a constant undercurrent of self-preserving thoughts flowing through my mind throughout the day? Am I striving - even subconsciously - to have my name honored? As Christians, we might not even dare to admit that we have that thought - but God knows our hearts. He calls us to "do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others more significant than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3). If we're honest, we all struggle with this. Ask God to make Christ supremely beautiful in your life, to grow your love for Him more and more, which will gradually stamp out self-concern. May it be that each night our heads hit our pillows, we can look back on the day and see less of ourselves and a bit more of Jesus shining through our thoughts, attitudes, and actions.

Hungry for Holiness

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they shall be satisfied."

- Matthew 5:6

What a timely verse for this holiday season, right on the heels of Thanksgiving! I sadly admit that far too often I do not hunger and thirst for righteousness with the same passion that I lavish on food. Why? Simply put, my mind is so easily set on earthly things, on experiences that my physical senses can enjoy, rather than heavenly things – those which will never fade...nor leave us with heartburn and a guilty conscience afterward. When I live to please my flesh – whether it's eating too much, not restraining my frustration, gossiping - God's warnings come true in my life, and I reap destruction (damage done to my body and relationships). However when, by His grace, I choose to live to please the Spirit, hungering after Christlikeness, then I will reap true satisfaction, peace and eternal life (Gal. 6: 7-9).

The rewards of hungering after righteousness benefit us both this life and the next. Oh, to stand at the end of my days and look back with a sense of thanksgiving that, although I was nowhere near perfect, I sought hard after holiness, not my own pleasure. To be able to do that, I must expect pain along the road – living like Christ is not comfortable; in fact, it means death to many things that my futile mind treasures. I have to stop trying to fill myself with things that do not truly satisfy so that I can finally feel the deep hunger that will only be quenched by Christ and His righteousness made manifest in my life.

This holiday season, let's make it our prayer that God would give us the grace to make an insatiable hunger for righteousness the focus of our hearts and minds. We are always looking for the “perfect gift” for our loved ones. If we profess Christ as our Lord, then He is to be our most Beloved – what more of a gift could we give Him than a heart that is hungry for purity, that desires to live as He did, all for His glory, not our own sense of satisfaction.

The Purpose of Waiting

Are you in a season of waiting?

It seems to me that, on some level, most of us are always in a season of waiting. Sometimes the seasons are short, sometimes they are long. Sometimes they are exuberant periods of waiting expectantly for impending joy on the horizon. Sometimes they are difficult seasons where we feel hopeless and surrounded by utter darkness. Sometimes they are somewhere in between those two.

But whatever our seasons look like, they are always hard.

I'm learning that God has designed these seasons of waiting on Him to serve a profound purpose in our lives...if we will let them.

The easy thing to do is to rage and fight against them. By nature, we don't like pain. On top of that, we are an instant gratification generation - we want what we want, and we want it NOW. But in God's Kingdom, rarely does He allow us those moments of instantaneous satisfaction - and with good reason.

God knows that things obtained too easily will ultimately teach us nothing of our desperate need for Him. When He allows us to walk through the trial of waiting on Him, He promises that it will ultimately produce His good work in our lives. I love Eugene Peterson's paraphrase of James 1:2-4, when God's Word encourages us to,

^"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

Have you had this experience? Have you ever emerged from a dark season of waiting on the Lord to work in your life, and find yourself able to look back on it with "pure joy" in your heart because He loved you enough to let you go through the trial, knowing that if He had spared you from it, you would not have grown in your faith? I can look back on my life and, by His grace, do just that. There have been several seasons of "trials of many kinds," some darker than others. But they all forced me to my knees in a way that, sad to say, my easier times never could.

If you are in the midst of a season of trial and waiting on the Lord, I want to encourage you to hang in there! Or in a more Biblical term, keep persevering!! Your Creator has not forgotten you. In fact, you are in a prime position to receive such blessing from God that otherwise you might not. As James continues in 1:12,

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."

God is at work in the midst of our testing and trials and waiting. As Charles Stanley so wisely explains, "The dark moments of our life will last only so long as is necessary for God to accomplish His purpose in us." And we know that one of His top priorities is that we put more of our faith in His Son, allowing Him to mold us into His likeness. This higher goal will trump our desire to be freed from our trial every time. And if we are seeking His Kingdom and will for our lives, inevitably the Lord will change our hearts to desire this as well, even more than an answer to what we are seeking.

One final lesson God is teaching me is that when I sincerely ask for His will to be done in my life, I must wholeheartedly believe that it is and that it will be! Again, James says in 1: 5-6,

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

Countless times in the Gospel we read stories of folks who are praised - not necessarily because of their spotless reputations or impeccable behavior - but because of their complete belief and trust in Christ's power over their lives. The Lord is reminding me that I need to turn from my doubting that He is actively at work to bring about His will in my life and instead cling to my faith in His goodness, knowing that,

"...without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

- Hebrews 11:6

His ultimate reward is not the stuff of life - but more of Him. That is all we truly need. May He continue to use your season of waiting to bless you with just that. 

The Biggest Miracle of All

I am daily amazed at God's active (albeit unseen most of the time) presence in my life and the lives that intersect mine. Every day there are countless stories of His miraculous acts of grace swirling all around us, some big, some little.

I'm particularly partial to the moments when He allows us broken, unfaithful children to play a tiny part in His grand plan. Of course we know He could do it all Himself - by no means does He need our help to accomplish His will. But it pleases Him to involve us at times - He knows that we are blessed beyond measure when this happens. When we are seeking His Kingdom in our lives, He will use these powerful moments to teach us a lesson in His grandeur if we let Him.

A recent example of this in my little world:
Last week I heard a story about a couple who received a random, totally unexpected check of a significant amount in their mailbox (it was a real estate tax refund from a house they'd sold a couple years prior). Although flashes of all the "fun" things they could buy with the amount passed through their minds, they quickly planned to tuck it away in savings.

Clearly, however, God had other plans for the funds because literally minutes after they'd made the decision of what to do with it, they were made aware of a loved one's urgent need. Here's the kicker: the amount needed was almost to the exact dollar of what showed up in their mailbox that day. They knew instantly that the check, although it had made a pit stop at their house, was not meant for their own personal use, but for Christ's greater glory. They were honored to give it all just for that. He had given them so much, how could they not?

This story is just one of the countless sparks of God's grandeur played out in our lives. Whether we perceive it or not, he is constantly at work in our lives, taking care of our every need exactly when we need it. This couple and their loved one could've never known that they needed to pray for the exact amount of money to show up at that very moment in their lives - but God did. And He made it happen.

When we are seeking to grow in our knowledge of and love for Christ, making His Kingdom our primary concern above all other things in life, He promises to meet all our needs "according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19). And even when we don't know what to pray for, His Spirit inside us does and He "intercedes for the saints according to the will of God" (Romans 8:27). I draw such comfort from that amazing truth! As long as we keep first things first (His Kingdom and righteousness), we will always have everything we need (emphasis on need, not want).

Of utmost importance to God is that we are continually becoming more and more like His Son. I can conjure some pretty skewed thinking in my little brain when I try to rely on my own strength to accomplish this, which inevitably leaves me bruised and battered from beating myself up over my failure to measure up to Christ's holiness. But, like Paul, by God's grace I am working on "forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead," continuing to "work out [my] salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in [me] to will and to act according to his good purpose" (Philippians 3: 13 and Philippians 2:12-13). My desire to grow more like Christ comes from God, not me (whew)! And not only that, He alone will actually DO the work in my heart, not me (double whew)!

Thing is, we can only become like someone if we actually spend time with them. Thus, prayer.

"The primary goal of prayer is relationship building

- to draw near to God"

-Stovall Weems

Drawing near to God in consistent times of prayer is one of the primary ways we get to know Him. I'm so grateful that God has shown me little areas of time in my day and week that I can devote to spending time with Him in prayer. It's not easy and it always involves self-sacrifice, but it is making such an impact in my daily walk with Him.

Specifically, He is teaching me to “not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" ( Philippians 4:6). However, the main motivation for my prayers should always be "for the glory of God regardless of our personal comfort or preference" (S.Weems). Again, when we make the whole point of our existence - even what we pray for - singularly about the glory of God, true joy and contentment are the inevitable result!

We may not walk away from every communion with God in prayer feeling like anything monumental has taken place - we may even "feel" exactly how we felt before we took the time to pray. But we can rest assured that fervent prayer offered from a right standing of heart before God will have an eternal impact, even if we do not see it in our lifetime.

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power

and produces wonderful results.

 - James 5:16

What is this "right standing"before God? It is what we graciously enjoy when we have become believers and God has credited to us Christ's righteousness. That being said, as we pray we must also be certain to confess any sins that are blocking us from intimacy with God. With these things in check, and keeping our hearts focused on what will truly bring glory to God, we can trust that by the His Spirit's power within us, our prayers will count for much in this life and the next!

I have seen countless "little" miracles throughout my life, and the aforementioned "check in the mail" story is just a drop in the proverbial bucket. It thrills me and rejuvenates my faith when God allows me to witness His power in such tangible, tender ways. But what I am even more excited about is how much He is answering my cries to be daily stripped of myself and further filled with His Spirit.

That, to me, is the biggest miracle of all.

It is a daily, moment by moment battle, but by His power, I keep pressing on.

Not that I have already obtained all this,

or have already arrived at my goal,

but I press on to take hold of that

for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

- Philippians 3:12

Chunks of Chocolate and Glops of Gravy

Heading out of town for a much-needed date night, hubby asks me to pop in some good music.

"I know - our wedding CD," he grins, referring to the compilation of our favorite songs that we handed out as thank-yous to folks who came to our Mexico destination wedding.

"Ah, yes," I agree, taking a deep breath and resting my weary head back as the entrancing Spanish guitar nearly lulls me to sleep.

I'm quickly snapped back from my mini-nap when hubby says, "It's so funny, cause when I think to the outset of our marriage and how I imagined life would be, I gotta say it's so different now than what I dreamed it would be."

"Eh?" I'm thinking. "What's he getting at here?"

"You mean..." I probe.

"I mean, in my mind back then, I envisioned one continual backyard cookout with the kids and all our friends, just relaxing and enjoying uninterrupted quality time with our perfect little dream-family. No one stressing out over where the kids are, if someone is about to eat dirt or fall in a pool. I had no idea how much more...work it was going to be!" he says.

"Hmmmph..." I scowl.

"But honestly, it's so much...better than I ever imagined. So much richer and deeper," he finishes.

"Well, thank you!" I think.

We go on to laugh about how it's a good thing most folks are so clueless as to how hard marriage and kids are before they take the plunge, otherwise our species might die out! But of course, the beauty is that even if it's possibly the most difficult thing we'll ever do, it is by far one of the most rewarding and fulfilling. And for me, the most educating. I have learned more about myself and God in the past 4 1/2 years than I did in the 29 years prior. That's some crazy God-math.

Arriving at our highly anticipated dinner destination - a romantic restaurant with a highly-touted chef - we giddily pore over the menu, finally settling on an appetizer of bacon-wrapped stuffed jalapenos, followed by a wedge salad and veal Marsala for our entree. It'd been a long time since we'd had such a fancy culinary experience and, being the foodies that we are, each minute waiting for what we knew would be an explosion of tastiness seemed to drag by.

Finally, the beautifully presented cream-cheese stuffed, bacony-delicious jalapenos arrive.

"Mmmmm," hubby grins as he serves me one. I close my eyes and gingerly take a bite, awaiting the taste explosion aforementioned. Instead, what I get is a tiny taste burst, quickly followed by a whole lot of...pain.

"They're a little hot," I grimace, sweat beading up on my nose. Hubby's eyes soon begin to water as he spasmodically nods his chewing head in agreement. We muscle through the appetizer disappointment, still clinging to high hopes for the salad and entree. But alas, our hopes are dashed as the salad proves watery and semi-tasteless and the entree, although it is not bad, is something akin to what we could've cooked on our own.

"Should we split a dessert?" Hubby, ever the optimist, suggests. Since I am a recovering sweet-aholic and have not had dessert in what seemed an eternity, I concur, "love to!"

We speedily agree on the German Chocolate pie (because, if you're gonna go for dessert, why mess around with anything that's not chocolate!?).

Now this...THIS is what redeems our dining experience. It takes us easily half an hour to finish this one tiny sliver of pie, as we slowly savor each delectable bite, locking eyes and nodding our heads, our only utterance being "mmmmm...."

When it's finally all gone (sniff), we walk out of our beautiful restaurant into the starry night, satisfied.

That's life, isn't it? We have it in our heads that each course of the experience is going to be (or at least should be) a mind-blowing explosion of sweetness. Instead we find our plates full of meltdowns, demands, short attention spans, ungratefulness, and sleep-deprivation, followed by a nice helping of dirty laundry, traffic and the never-ending sinkful of dishes.

If we're not careful, that's all we'll see everyday.

If we're not careful, we'll walk away from each day having missed the sweet moments. Because they are there. We just have to have our eyes open, looking for them.

If we're not careful to keep our eyes searching for the sacred moments, we will, by default, miss them. They can be sneaky little chunks of chocolatey sweetness, hiding under piles of distractions and our self-imposed "to do" lists. But they are there, even in the midst of our most severe pain.

When we finally make the decision to force our gaze away from the pains of life,
the failures of our flesh,
the "what ifs" that paralyze us with fear and keep us from ever taking a risky leap of faith forward,
the false comforters with which we desperately try to numb ourselves...

and our weary eyes come to rest on the beautiful presence of Christ, who is just waiting for us to "take heart" in Him and find true peace because He has overcome the world (John 16:33)...

then we will finally have life to the full!

Until that point, as C.S. Lewis so masterfully paints us,

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." (The Weight of Glory)

I am convinced that God gives us the sweet moments to point us to Himself - so that we can find true fulfillment in an intimate relationship with Him and fathomless strength for the inevitable struggles that life brings. We were meant to worship the Creator, not the creation, after all (Romans 1:25), to let the good things in life point us to the Good Gift Giver. The sweet gifts are not designed to hold our hearts forever. They fall woefully short for the task. They will always melt into a gloppy mess, leaving us hungry again.

When we finally learn that His love will always be enough, we will stop searching for more and more fleeting sweet moments - because although they are nice when they come, they can never (and were never intended to) fulfill us. In fact, if all we ever had was sweetness, our "taste buds" would eventually grow dull and we would lose our ability to truly enjoy the blessings.

With the knowledge that true fulfillment, real purpose and meaning in life come only from a vibrant relationship with my Creator, I am freed up to simply enjoy exactly where God has me for this season. All of life is sprinkled with holy moments and sweet, sacred glimpses of the eternal. Nothing in my life is meaningless, and I can stop looking for "something else out there" to provide me with a sense of significance - because I am significant in Christ! The rest is just gravy.

Or chocolate, whichever you prefer.