“Behold, children are
a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of
one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”
- Psalm 127: 3-5
What are you counting on to bring you
joy every day?
God has used the gift of motherhood to gently and
continually remind me that only in Christ can I find ultimate joy.
In His Word, God says that children are a reward and a heritage from
Him, and that we are certainly blessed by their presence in our
lives. It seems to me that this blessing unfolds itself in a myriad
of unexpected ways.
First off, it's not hard to see that
kids are just fun! They have more capacity to bring light and
laughter to a home than anything else. Dogs and cats are great, don't
get me wrong...but kids?! I've never laughed so hard in my life –
they're downright hilarious, whether they intend to be or not! They
are like the gift that keeps on giving – what a joy it is to get to
“unwrap,” day by day, the unique little person God has
providentially placed in our home.
But alongside the fun part, I believe
God uses the challenging aspects of parenting to bless us as well.
Children, by their very nature, are divinely designed to disrupt our
comfortable, orderly, selfishly-motivated lives. Anyone who's been a
parent for more than five seconds knows that children cannot help but
interrupt our agendas (when our agendas don't include them). As an
aside, I think we would be wise (and I keep telling myself!) to
simply expect to be interrupted by them, so that when the
interruptions inevitably come, we are mentally prepared and by God's
grace handle them with love.
I have had to constantly remind myself
that as a parent, my daily goals that I think are so important should
never take higher priority than the little lives circling around me.
My default is to be so performance and project-oriented that I
completely forget that my children ARE the goal of my day. Oh,
how I struggle and fail continually with maintaining this mindset.
Children are built to stretch us. To
date, nothing has sanctified me more than being a parent! But when we
stomp around with the (often subconscious) mindset that children are
more burdens than blessings, we are believing the lie that “if only
life could be easier, I would be happy.” Yes, raising children is
hard work. But anything worth doing is difficult - and when we
only focus on the drudgery of parenting tasks, we risk missing out on
enjoying the beauty of each individual soul that somehow miraculously
graces our homes.
There is great hope in knowing that
these kids didn't just happen to us by genealogical chance – God
very specifically chose you to be the parent of
your children with the intention that nobody else could do the
job for these little souls quite like you could. Yes, our children
are purposeful gifts to us from a loving God, designed to ultimately
(if not always in the immediate present!) give us joy. They are a
gift. A reward!
Nonetheless, children are gifts with
their own free wills, so at times their choices may bring pain into
our lives (just as our choices sometimes bring pain to our own
Heavenly Father). But we are called, regardless of our kids' actions,
to faithfully love them as Christ does us, diligently praying
for them every step of the way (oh, if we only knew the impact
praying parents have had through the centuries!).
As we parent and pray, we should do so
with a heart that trusts that it is the Lord who builds our
family (Psalm 127:1). In Christ's strength alone, as we do our
part (love, pray), we can trust that He will do His part. And
even though we may struggle with feeling totally inadequate for the
task, that's okay – because truthfully, nobody can parent in their
own strength the way God desires for us to.
The weight of parenting is in reality a
good thing – God is able to take the burden and turn it into a
blessing. The continual challenges of parenthood are designed to
drive us to our knees so that we draw nearer to God and cling to
our loving Savior as our Guide, Provider, Teacher and Comforter –
God is the Ultimate Parent, full of wisdom and grace who longs to
spill it over onto all those who seek Him for it. So as we come to
Him, “weary and burdened,” He will “give us rest” (Matthew11: 28-30) – not by totally removing the burden from us, but by
giving us Himself, Who alone has all the strength we need to
carry on.
The tumultuous, unpredictable winds of
parenthood can shake a person to their core. When this happens,
whatever our hearts cling to deep down as our source of true joy in
life is clearly revealed. If we are seeking to find joy in anything
other than Jesus (a clean house, an accomplished to-do list, healthy
kids, successful career, praise from others, a perfect figure, “me
time,” sleep!, etc...), our life's foundation will crack. We
cannot stand on anything in this life other than the solid Rock of
Jesus Christ.
Children bless their parents not only
through the joy they bring, but also by continually forcing us back
to the Cross – we can't parent in our own strength the way God
wants us to. We are weak and broken and need Christ's help every
waking (and sometimes half-awake!) moment. We can trust that as we
come to the Lord for help, seeing Him as our ultimate satisfying
joy in life, He will graciously provide everything we need for
the task (Hebrews 4:16). It is the Lord alone who builds a family (Psalm
127:1), and in the end, we can rest assured that we will be
“blessed,” and not “put to shame” when our time as parents is
done (Psalm 127: 5).
