Monday, November 21, 2016

Unfair Expectations


As providence would have it, I just so happened to be struggling with anger and unforgiveness in my heart at exactly the time I began to prepare to write this devotion on - of all things - forgiveness.

For a few days or so, there had been this icy undercurrent of a vague sense of anger and hurt flowing through my spirit toward a very significant person in my life. I couldn't exactly put my finger on what it was that had caused me to begin to feel this way, but there was no denying its presence. I'd get up in the morning for my quiet devotional time, and there it was, hovering over my heart like a murky cloud, stopping up my sense of connection with my Savior.
I felt stunted, short-circuited, cut off and confused.

But then, within only a few minutes of pouring over Mark 11:25, God's Spirit convicted me of my unforgiving, angry heart.

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
- Mark 11: 25

It was clear as day. I couldn't run from the awful truth that I had allowed my pride to place unreasonable expectations on this precious person in my life - and when they failed to meet them, my sinful heart began to harden in hurt, anger and unforgiveness.

What I'm learning is that sometimes unforgiveness stems from real hurts inflicted by others...but far too often in my life, I have to own up to the fact that I feel hurt because others have failed to meet the unfair expectations that I've subconsciously put on them - I feel like they must act in a way that protects my sense of self-worth and if they don't, then I struggle with disappointment and hurt. All of this is rooted in ugly pride! So, ultimately I begin to see that I am the one who needs to seek forgiveness from my Father (and those I've hurt in anger), and I don't necessarily need to forgive those with whom I'm angry because really they haven't even done anything wrong in the first place! Phew!! What a mess our hearts can be...

But praise God that He uses the power of His Word to gently probe us and show us what sin we need to deal with - all with the purpose of reconciliation to Him and others. I thank God that I was able to go to the person with whom I was unjustly angry and make amends, restoring our relationship to an even deeper level of intimacy. That's what Jesus is all about - restoration of the broken through His power of forgiveness.

In this season of Thanksgiving, let's praise Him for this gift - that through His
forgiveness offered on the Cross, we don't have to sludge through the heavy, murky waters of unforgiveness in our hearts, but we can be washed clean by His Spirit's power to forgive and start fresh every day.

Monday, September 19, 2016

More Jesus, Less Me


We've all been there - felt that stab of jealousy as someone else gets whatever it is that our own hearts are set on. We're just born with the desire to be on top, to be first, to be recognized by others as the best. Hang out with small children for more than two seconds and you're bound to witness at least one fit if someone else wins the game, gets to be line leader, Star Student, or whatever place of honor another child covets. As grown ups, we still struggle with our smoldering selfishness - we've only gotten better at hiding it.

But here, in John 3:30, we see a radically different way of thinking - a way of viewing oneself that is completely foreign to natural man. John the Baptist's disciples anxiously approach him about Jesus' rise to popularity among the masses, but contrary to our natural knee-jerk reactions of self-preservation, John responds in beautiful humility. It's this Christ-exalting position that Jesus praises, calling John "the greatest man born of women" (Matt. 11:11). John's response sets the example for all who would follow Christ with seven earth-shattering words: He must increase, but I must decrease.

This should be our singular goal throughout each and every day - more of Christ, less of me. But, how do we do this? How do we go against the grain of the very fiber of our naturally self-promoting hearts?

First off - through prayerfully seeking God's strength to do so. We can't muster up such an upside down view of things in our own feeble power. But He can. If we are in Christ through saving faith in His work on the cross, then that same Spirit that raised Him from the dead is available to us! He is able to do miraculous works in our hearts, scrubbing us clean and removing impurities in our personalities, through the power of His transforming Word (Rom. 12:2).

Secondly, we see Christ increase and ourselves decrease in our lives by settling our sense of self-worth in Jesus, not in how we perform or what accolades we're given. If we are in Christ, the question of "am I valuable?" (which is at the root of so many of our selfish ambitions) is already answered with a resounding Yes. So there's no need to frantically struggle for appreciation in this world - we are bonafide children of the King...how could we ask for anything else?

Thirdly, we decrease and Christ increases when we make it our aim to treasure Him more every day - to see Him as supremely beautiful amongst all else in life. We must constantly remind our wandering hearts that Christ is what it's all about (Col. 1:15-20).

Is there a constant undercurrent of self-preserving thoughts flowing through my mind throughout the day? Am I striving - even subconsciously - to have my name honored? As Christians, we might not even dare to admit that we have that thought - but God knows our hearts. He calls us to "do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others more significant than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3). If we're honest, we all struggle with this. Ask God to make Christ supremely beautiful in your life, to grow your love for Him more and more, which will gradually stamp out self-concern. May it be that each night our heads hit our pillows, we can look back on the day and see less of ourselves and a bit more of Jesus shining through our thoughts, attitudes, and actions.

Monday, July 18, 2016

In the Day of Trouble

We were about to board our plane to fly back home from my husband's incentive trip to Italy when a fellow traveler said to us, “hey, did you hear about the attack in Nice, France?” Only a couple hundred miles from where we were standing, families were reeling from the shock of losing their loved ones in yet another heinous act of terror. As I prayed for the suffering, my heart clenched with sorrow, anger, and fear, and I wanted more than ever to just get home and hold my four babies.

This world we live in seems more insecure and unstable than ever, and only getting worse. What are we to do but turn to the Lord for understanding? As we started our long flight home, God's Word yet again brought the clarity my heart craved as I read through Psalm 86.

“For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer; listen to my plea for grace. In the day of my trouble, I call upon you, for you answer me.”
- Psalm 86: 5-7

Although we live in a fallen world, underneath the chaos and the threats are the steadfast arms of a sovereign, loving God – an unchangeable Savior who promises to abound in goodness, forgiveness, steadfast love, and grace to all who call upon Him.

So, when life comes at us hard, may we turn to Christ. When we cry out with David that “insolent men have risen up against me; a band of ruthless men seeks my life,” may our hearts quickly return to the truth that “you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness,” trusting in Him to “give your strength to your servant” (Ps. 86: 14-16).

Our hearts can rest in the amazing reality that ultimately, regardless of what happens in this breath of a life, our hope can never be taken from us because of the salvation Christ secured for us on the cross. God's love will always win, “for great is your steadfast love toward me; you have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol” (Ps. 86: 13).

As you face whatever lies before you today, call out to the Lord to help you trust in His future grace and steadfast love toward you through Christ. Make it your top priority to seek to know Him better – to not be blinded or paralyzed by the distractions around us – but to call upon Him all day, trusting that He will answer your pleas for help. And as your heart rests in that place of peaceful security, you can be free to share His steadfast love and grace with everyone He places in your path.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Seeing Ourselves and Others Through God's Eyes

"Love one another with brotherly affection.
Outdo one another in showing honor."
Romans 12:10

Whether you have 20/20 eyesight or not, each of us is born desperate for vision surgery from the Great Physician – for the Holy Spirit to enter into our lives and radically transform the viewpoint from which the eyes of our hearts see life.

Our struggle in life is that we are all born with eyes that are constantly turned inward – we are, by nature, concerned primarily with how we are affected by what is going around us. Our default is not to seek to understand how something might be impacting others, but rather to compulsively see only how we are treated. We are, quite simply, self-obsessed.

Instead of being “me-focused,” Christ calls us to be “others-focused.” Instead of being self-obsessed, Christ calls us to be self-forgetful. And what He calls us to, He will empower us for. His Holy Spirit alone can perform such monumental paradigm shift in our thinking – sometimes in big, dramatic ways, but often in small steps as He, little by little, adjusts our lenses to see and honor others above ourselves. It is how our King lived as He walked this earth, and as His followers, we are being made like Him, “being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another” (2 Corin. 3:18).

When we allow the Holy Spirit to do His work in our hearts, when we ask Him for eyes to see ourselves and others the way He sees us, we begin to walk in unspeakable freedom! Suddenly, as His Gospel washes afresh over us, we're reminded that, because Jesus paid the price for our sins, we are justified before God and set free from the pressure to perform perfectly in this life to gain His acceptance (which we never could!). His Spirit reminds us that, because Christ is our Savior, we are beautifully clothed in His righteousness and forever declared “good enough” by the only One Whose opinion of us really matters! We are free then to take our eyes off ourselves, free to stop trying to make sure nobody shakes our fragile false sense of self-worth – and instead we can open our eyes to those around us, seeing their needs and joyfully seeking to meet them, trusting that our Savior has and will continue to meet all of ours.

Our love, devotion and service to others is genuine when it comes from a Holy Spirit-inspired place of gratitude for all that Christ has done for us. May we daily seek to see ourselves and others through His eyes so we can spend our time walking in true brotherly love for one another!


Sunday, March 27, 2016

The Stooping Saint and the Standing Savior

"But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. 12 And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. 13 They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” 14 Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus...Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!”
- John 20: 11-16

Waking up early, she was unstoppable in her search for the One Whom her soul loved. Mary – the one who had once been filled with all sorts of unspeakable evil – lingered at His empty tomb that first Easter Sunday morning, overwhelmed with grief at the seeming loss of Her Savior's presence, unable to comprehend that even though it appeared that He was forever gone, He was always right there (and would shortly show Himself in answer to her diligent search). Although the other seekers had come and gone, not staying to search with her, she stood fast in her pursuit, stooping into the grave to look just one more time. In the loss of such a love, how could she not? Even the reward of seeing angelic beings at that moment wouldn't console her as she wept of her confusion. Majestic as they were, arguably the most glorious of all creation, still they were not enough.

All souls are born to know that nothing in all creation will satisfy except the Creator.

And then He spoke her name.

Her spirit within her leaped with recognition of her Shepherd's voice, just as He had said (“and the sheep follow Him, for they know His voice.” - Jn. 10:4). Instantly, she knew it was Him, for “Christ's way of making Himself known to His people is by His word, His word applied to their souls, speaking to them in particular” (Matthew Henry). His voice called her up out of the pit of despair, just as it does to all who – after finally dropping their false comforters - diligently seek to know Him. Her soul couldn't help but respond, My Great Master! - the One Whom she had unswervingly sought, knowing without Whom she was destitute.

This same Jesus is here with you, calling you to Him today. Even though the darkness in our lives may blind us from seeing Him for a season, we must press on to know Him. He is our only hope, the one true source of salvation, both from our sins in this life and the certain punishment they require in the life to come.

This Easter morning, may we fall at the feet of Jesus, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, “the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of His nature” (Heb. 1:3). He is the only One Who, even though He holds everything together and sees all people for who they are, loves us with such an unfathomable love that He would come down and die for us, forever paying the price for our sins and clearing the pathway to God – our souls' True Home.

And even more than that, He is now seated at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us constantly. He has not left us, as Mary feared and as we sometimes feel. Often, the clouds of darkness that blind our eyes from seeing Him are the very necessary instruments of grace that will be used to humble, grow and ultimately stir in us an even greater love for our King.

And although we will most certainly fail Him - just as every disciple since that first Easter has done - His unfailing love will always seek to restore, comfort and strengthen us (although He could've called the first disciples “my betrayers”, He mercifully chose to call them “my brothers” - Jn. 20:17).

As Mary did, may we be unstoppable in our search for the Living Christ. May we hear His voice, turn to Him and let Him be our Great Master today and every day while we have breath. There is nothing in all creation that compares.
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