The Purpose of Waiting

Are you in a season of waiting?

It seems to me that, on some level, most of us are always in a season of waiting. Sometimes the seasons are short, sometimes they are long. Sometimes they are exuberant periods of waiting expectantly for impending joy on the horizon. Sometimes they are difficult seasons where we feel hopeless and surrounded by utter darkness. Sometimes they are somewhere in between those two.

But whatever our seasons look like, they are always hard.

I'm learning that God has designed these seasons of waiting on Him to serve a profound purpose in our lives...if we will let them.

The easy thing to do is to rage and fight against them. By nature, we don't like pain. On top of that, we are an instant gratification generation - we want what we want, and we want it NOW. But in God's Kingdom, rarely does He allow us those moments of instantaneous satisfaction - and with good reason.

God knows that things obtained too easily will ultimately teach us nothing of our desperate need for Him. When He allows us to walk through the trial of waiting on Him, He promises that it will ultimately produce His good work in our lives. I love Eugene Peterson's paraphrase of James 1:2-4, when God's Word encourages us to,

^"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

Have you had this experience? Have you ever emerged from a dark season of waiting on the Lord to work in your life, and find yourself able to look back on it with "pure joy" in your heart because He loved you enough to let you go through the trial, knowing that if He had spared you from it, you would not have grown in your faith? I can look back on my life and, by His grace, do just that. There have been several seasons of "trials of many kinds," some darker than others. But they all forced me to my knees in a way that, sad to say, my easier times never could.

If you are in the midst of a season of trial and waiting on the Lord, I want to encourage you to hang in there! Or in a more Biblical term, keep persevering!! Your Creator has not forgotten you. In fact, you are in a prime position to receive such blessing from God that otherwise you might not. As James continues in 1:12,

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."

God is at work in the midst of our testing and trials and waiting. As Charles Stanley so wisely explains, "The dark moments of our life will last only so long as is necessary for God to accomplish His purpose in us." And we know that one of His top priorities is that we put more of our faith in His Son, allowing Him to mold us into His likeness. This higher goal will trump our desire to be freed from our trial every time. And if we are seeking His Kingdom and will for our lives, inevitably the Lord will change our hearts to desire this as well, even more than an answer to what we are seeking.

One final lesson God is teaching me is that when I sincerely ask for His will to be done in my life, I must wholeheartedly believe that it is and that it will be! Again, James says in 1: 5-6,

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

Countless times in the Gospel we read stories of folks who are praised - not necessarily because of their spotless reputations or impeccable behavior - but because of their complete belief and trust in Christ's power over their lives. The Lord is reminding me that I need to turn from my doubting that He is actively at work to bring about His will in my life and instead cling to my faith in His goodness, knowing that,

"...without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

- Hebrews 11:6

His ultimate reward is not the stuff of life - but more of Him. That is all we truly need. May He continue to use your season of waiting to bless you with just that. 

The Biggest Miracle of All

I am daily amazed at God's active (albeit unseen most of the time) presence in my life and the lives that intersect mine. Every day there are countless stories of His miraculous acts of grace swirling all around us, some big, some little.

I'm particularly partial to the moments when He allows us broken, unfaithful children to play a tiny part in His grand plan. Of course we know He could do it all Himself - by no means does He need our help to accomplish His will. But it pleases Him to involve us at times - He knows that we are blessed beyond measure when this happens. When we are seeking His Kingdom in our lives, He will use these powerful moments to teach us a lesson in His grandeur if we let Him.

A recent example of this in my little world:
Last week I heard a story about a couple who received a random, totally unexpected check of a significant amount in their mailbox (it was a real estate tax refund from a house they'd sold a couple years prior). Although flashes of all the "fun" things they could buy with the amount passed through their minds, they quickly planned to tuck it away in savings.

Clearly, however, God had other plans for the funds because literally minutes after they'd made the decision of what to do with it, they were made aware of a loved one's urgent need. Here's the kicker: the amount needed was almost to the exact dollar of what showed up in their mailbox that day. They knew instantly that the check, although it had made a pit stop at their house, was not meant for their own personal use, but for Christ's greater glory. They were honored to give it all just for that. He had given them so much, how could they not?

This story is just one of the countless sparks of God's grandeur played out in our lives. Whether we perceive it or not, he is constantly at work in our lives, taking care of our every need exactly when we need it. This couple and their loved one could've never known that they needed to pray for the exact amount of money to show up at that very moment in their lives - but God did. And He made it happen.

When we are seeking to grow in our knowledge of and love for Christ, making His Kingdom our primary concern above all other things in life, He promises to meet all our needs "according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19). And even when we don't know what to pray for, His Spirit inside us does and He "intercedes for the saints according to the will of God" (Romans 8:27). I draw such comfort from that amazing truth! As long as we keep first things first (His Kingdom and righteousness), we will always have everything we need (emphasis on need, not want).

Of utmost importance to God is that we are continually becoming more and more like His Son. I can conjure some pretty skewed thinking in my little brain when I try to rely on my own strength to accomplish this, which inevitably leaves me bruised and battered from beating myself up over my failure to measure up to Christ's holiness. But, like Paul, by God's grace I am working on "forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead," continuing to "work out [my] salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in [me] to will and to act according to his good purpose" (Philippians 3: 13 and Philippians 2:12-13). My desire to grow more like Christ comes from God, not me (whew)! And not only that, He alone will actually DO the work in my heart, not me (double whew)!

Thing is, we can only become like someone if we actually spend time with them. Thus, prayer.

"The primary goal of prayer is relationship building

- to draw near to God"

-Stovall Weems

Drawing near to God in consistent times of prayer is one of the primary ways we get to know Him. I'm so grateful that God has shown me little areas of time in my day and week that I can devote to spending time with Him in prayer. It's not easy and it always involves self-sacrifice, but it is making such an impact in my daily walk with Him.

Specifically, He is teaching me to “not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" ( Philippians 4:6). However, the main motivation for my prayers should always be "for the glory of God regardless of our personal comfort or preference" (S.Weems). Again, when we make the whole point of our existence - even what we pray for - singularly about the glory of God, true joy and contentment are the inevitable result!

We may not walk away from every communion with God in prayer feeling like anything monumental has taken place - we may even "feel" exactly how we felt before we took the time to pray. But we can rest assured that fervent prayer offered from a right standing of heart before God will have an eternal impact, even if we do not see it in our lifetime.

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power

and produces wonderful results.

 - James 5:16

What is this "right standing"before God? It is what we graciously enjoy when we have become believers and God has credited to us Christ's righteousness. That being said, as we pray we must also be certain to confess any sins that are blocking us from intimacy with God. With these things in check, and keeping our hearts focused on what will truly bring glory to God, we can trust that by the His Spirit's power within us, our prayers will count for much in this life and the next!

I have seen countless "little" miracles throughout my life, and the aforementioned "check in the mail" story is just a drop in the proverbial bucket. It thrills me and rejuvenates my faith when God allows me to witness His power in such tangible, tender ways. But what I am even more excited about is how much He is answering my cries to be daily stripped of myself and further filled with His Spirit.

That, to me, is the biggest miracle of all.

It is a daily, moment by moment battle, but by His power, I keep pressing on.

Not that I have already obtained all this,

or have already arrived at my goal,

but I press on to take hold of that

for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

- Philippians 3:12

Happy Kids

To be carried along by the power of the Lord,

To be faithfully molded in the patience of the Lord,

To be comforted by the constant presence of the Lord;

In these things do His children find deepest joy.

What Can Happen When the Body Works

"Vitruvian Man" by Leonardo Da Vinci

No matter where we are, we are never beyond the reach of God.

Even if you are in a season of blissful happiness right now, chances are you have been in (or will one day find yourself in) a dark pit of despair - something you never fathomed could happen to you. That is our lot in this life - we cannot escape our encounters with pain, as much as we desperately try to.

I am certain that my young friend who recently suffered the incomprehensible loss of her husband never dreamed she would ever have to endure such a crushing tragedy. No one is supposed to be widowed in their early thirties, suddenly facing the gaping hole of the loss of their best friend and father to their young child.

When I heard of my friend's loss, my heart was overwhelmed with grief for her. I prayed repeatedly for her comfort and peace, that she would somehow experience God's great mercy like never before in the midst of such a dark place. I know there were many others around her who continually lifted her up as well - and continue to do so even to this day.

And beyond even prayer, many within the local church were moved to action in the midst of my friend's crisis - reaching out with gifts and food. It was a sight to behold, watching perfect strangers sign up to take meal after meal to this hurting family, all because of a burning desire to show Christ's love in a tangible way.

Just this past week, I had the privilege to listen to my sweet friend as she shared through tears how much the Body of Christ's outpouring of compassion meant to her. Because of the Church's faithfulness to minister to her in her darkest hour, she is forever changed. She has experienced the love of God in a way she'd never known before, seeing Him as the kind, merciful, and loving Father that He truly is. She has begun regularly attending church and will even be dedicating her son soon, as well as being baptized herself! All praise to God for showing His miraculous power even in the midst of seemingly impossible despair.

When the Church operates in the Spirit-filled power it was designed to function, reaching out in Christ's love as only His Body can, amazing things can happen! Individual lives and whole families can be forever changed for the course of history. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to see this happen in my friend's life! My own faith has been so renewed as I am reminded of the Lord's unstoppable desire to see His loved ones brought home to Him.

And even more, I have been so blessed to see firsthand what can happen when God's children truly operate in the unity to which they have been called by Christ (John 17). Too often the Church is known for its discord, for its foolish bickering over what are ultimately just preferences. But not always! And my prayer will continue to be not anymore.

Lord, let Your Body, Your Bride be so moved to love each other and the world in such a way that no one can deny Your power and Your Truth, which is Jesus.

The Will and the Work

Have I mentioned that I just love Jesus? ;)

It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that there are literally countless things about Him to love. But what has most recently been added to my list of "Top Bajillion Things I Love About Jesus" is His uncanny ability to speak precisely what I need to hear precisely when I need to hear it.

Take earlier this week, for example. There I was, just barely, faintly offering up a prayer that God would show me in my Bible reading what I most needed to hear at that moment...when, BAM...He spoke.

The story of Jesus' encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well just happened to be the next chapter in my reading for the day. I'd read the story many times before, but this time, a part of it jumped out at me that I had never noticed (gotta love how God's living Word can do that!). Just to set the stage, while His disciples were off buying some food, Jesus uses His opportunity of solitude not to take a nap (weary as He surely was), but to have a life-changing conversation with a woman in desperate need of Truth. When His disciples return with food and urge Him to eat, He instead says,

"I have food to eat

that you know nothing about...

My food...is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work."

- John 4: 32 & 34

I can sadly say without hesitation that if it had been me in Jesus' shoes, I would've, a) slept or spaced out during the entire time the Samaritan woman was in my presence, and b) thrown down a serious munch as soon as my friends returned with some grub - maybe even forgetting to thank God for my food.

But not our Lord Jesus. He had such an urgency and single-mindedness of mission that putting aside His own physical comfort was just a way of life (and ultimately death) for Him.

Head spinning, I put down my Bible after reading this incredible snapshot of Christ's diligence in humility and compassion, and asked myself these hard questions:

- What is "the will" and "the work" that God sends me out to do?

- What things are more important to me than doing God's will and work everyday?

First things first, I believe God's ultimate will is that I love Him through His Son Jesus above all else (see Matt. 22:37). Then, from that place of love, I believe I am called to love those He has put around me (see Matt. 22:39). To me that is, in a nutshell, the will and the work of God in my life. Everything else stems from there.

I am to keep the eyes of my heart constantly turned to Jesus all throughout my day, seeking to know and love Him more and more every moment I am alive. Then I am to reflect His love to those in my path as a response to His love. I have no love to give of my own accord. It is only through His love flowing through me that I can "do the work" of loving others.

So, what keeps me from continually doing God's will and work in my life? What other things do I find more important? Where do my priorities get out of whack? Why am I more often found napping or munching when I should be loving and serving?

Again, I am hit with the sad reality that I still struggle with the lie that other things in this world will bring me more satisfaction than Jesus. In my humanity, I am inclined to turn to the "junk foods" of idolatry - the "foods" I think will satisfy, but always end up leaving me empty and sick - instead of the Bread of Life, which is Christ, who alone can fully satisfy.

When I am tired and weary and bored and discouraged and insecure...I really do not need a piece of cake, or a caramel macchiato, or a chick flick or even a nap (precious as those things can be in the right context!). What I really need, what will truly fill me up and restore me...is more Jesus.

Oh, sweet, merciful Father, forgive me for the countless times I have turned to "junk foods" to feel satisfied instead of spending time with You, the Bread of Life and Living Water! Remind me constantly by the promptings of Your precious Holy Spirit that loving You and loving others in response to Your love are the only things that will ever fill my hungry soul.

Thank You for Your faithfulness and patience.

Amen.

Chunks of Chocolate and Glops of Gravy

Heading out of town for a much-needed date night, hubby asks me to pop in some good music.

"I know - our wedding CD," he grins, referring to the compilation of our favorite songs that we handed out as thank-yous to folks who came to our Mexico destination wedding.

"Ah, yes," I agree, taking a deep breath and resting my weary head back as the entrancing Spanish guitar nearly lulls me to sleep.

I'm quickly snapped back from my mini-nap when hubby says, "It's so funny, cause when I think to the outset of our marriage and how I imagined life would be, I gotta say it's so different now than what I dreamed it would be."

"Eh?" I'm thinking. "What's he getting at here?"

"You mean..." I probe.

"I mean, in my mind back then, I envisioned one continual backyard cookout with the kids and all our friends, just relaxing and enjoying uninterrupted quality time with our perfect little dream-family. No one stressing out over where the kids are, if someone is about to eat dirt or fall in a pool. I had no idea how much more...work it was going to be!" he says.

"Hmmmph..." I scowl.

"But honestly, it's so much...better than I ever imagined. So much richer and deeper," he finishes.

"Well, thank you!" I think.

We go on to laugh about how it's a good thing most folks are so clueless as to how hard marriage and kids are before they take the plunge, otherwise our species might die out! But of course, the beauty is that even if it's possibly the most difficult thing we'll ever do, it is by far one of the most rewarding and fulfilling. And for me, the most educating. I have learned more about myself and God in the past 4 1/2 years than I did in the 29 years prior. That's some crazy God-math.

Arriving at our highly anticipated dinner destination - a romantic restaurant with a highly-touted chef - we giddily pore over the menu, finally settling on an appetizer of bacon-wrapped stuffed jalapenos, followed by a wedge salad and veal Marsala for our entree. It'd been a long time since we'd had such a fancy culinary experience and, being the foodies that we are, each minute waiting for what we knew would be an explosion of tastiness seemed to drag by.

Finally, the beautifully presented cream-cheese stuffed, bacony-delicious jalapenos arrive.

"Mmmmm," hubby grins as he serves me one. I close my eyes and gingerly take a bite, awaiting the taste explosion aforementioned. Instead, what I get is a tiny taste burst, quickly followed by a whole lot of...pain.

"They're a little hot," I grimace, sweat beading up on my nose. Hubby's eyes soon begin to water as he spasmodically nods his chewing head in agreement. We muscle through the appetizer disappointment, still clinging to high hopes for the salad and entree. But alas, our hopes are dashed as the salad proves watery and semi-tasteless and the entree, although it is not bad, is something akin to what we could've cooked on our own.

"Should we split a dessert?" Hubby, ever the optimist, suggests. Since I am a recovering sweet-aholic and have not had dessert in what seemed an eternity, I concur, "love to!"

We speedily agree on the German Chocolate pie (because, if you're gonna go for dessert, why mess around with anything that's not chocolate!?).

Now this...THIS is what redeems our dining experience. It takes us easily half an hour to finish this one tiny sliver of pie, as we slowly savor each delectable bite, locking eyes and nodding our heads, our only utterance being "mmmmm...."

When it's finally all gone (sniff), we walk out of our beautiful restaurant into the starry night, satisfied.

That's life, isn't it? We have it in our heads that each course of the experience is going to be (or at least should be) a mind-blowing explosion of sweetness. Instead we find our plates full of meltdowns, demands, short attention spans, ungratefulness, and sleep-deprivation, followed by a nice helping of dirty laundry, traffic and the never-ending sinkful of dishes.

If we're not careful, that's all we'll see everyday.

If we're not careful, we'll walk away from each day having missed the sweet moments. Because they are there. We just have to have our eyes open, looking for them.

If we're not careful to keep our eyes searching for the sacred moments, we will, by default, miss them. They can be sneaky little chunks of chocolatey sweetness, hiding under piles of distractions and our self-imposed "to do" lists. But they are there, even in the midst of our most severe pain.

When we finally make the decision to force our gaze away from the pains of life,
the failures of our flesh,
the "what ifs" that paralyze us with fear and keep us from ever taking a risky leap of faith forward,
the false comforters with which we desperately try to numb ourselves...

and our weary eyes come to rest on the beautiful presence of Christ, who is just waiting for us to "take heart" in Him and find true peace because He has overcome the world (John 16:33)...

then we will finally have life to the full!

Until that point, as C.S. Lewis so masterfully paints us,

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." (The Weight of Glory)

I am convinced that God gives us the sweet moments to point us to Himself - so that we can find true fulfillment in an intimate relationship with Him and fathomless strength for the inevitable struggles that life brings. We were meant to worship the Creator, not the creation, after all (Romans 1:25), to let the good things in life point us to the Good Gift Giver. The sweet gifts are not designed to hold our hearts forever. They fall woefully short for the task. They will always melt into a gloppy mess, leaving us hungry again.

When we finally learn that His love will always be enough, we will stop searching for more and more fleeting sweet moments - because although they are nice when they come, they can never (and were never intended to) fulfill us. In fact, if all we ever had was sweetness, our "taste buds" would eventually grow dull and we would lose our ability to truly enjoy the blessings.

With the knowledge that true fulfillment, real purpose and meaning in life come only from a vibrant relationship with my Creator, I am freed up to simply enjoy exactly where God has me for this season. All of life is sprinkled with holy moments and sweet, sacred glimpses of the eternal. Nothing in my life is meaningless, and I can stop looking for "something else out there" to provide me with a sense of significance - because I am significant in Christ! The rest is just gravy.

Or chocolate, whichever you prefer.

Dealing with the Daily Junk (a prayer)

sunrise over the Sea of Galilee

⁸ Let me hear of your unfailing love 
each morning,
for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
for I give myself to you.
-Psalm 143:8

Father, I thank You for the precious time You grant me in the mornings to spend with You (even if it's just a few minutes of solitude before my little ones miraculously sense that someone in the house is awake!). There is something so sacred about those dark, predawn hours when most of the world is still sleeping, except You, of course. Even though, at that point, my brain is barely getting fired back up and I still have sleep in my eyes, my heart has yet to get all cluttered with the cares of my day, and I can somehow hear You more clearly.

Invariably my soul's first response toward You is awe and praise...followed quickly by the daily realization that I fall severely short of Your holiness. Each morning brings me to the same place of remembering my continual failings...

but in Your grace, You do not leave me there.

As the psalm says, You remind me of Your unfailing love toward me, that what You have started, You will finish (Philippians 1:6). You will never give up on me, and because I have given myself to You, You will "show me where to walk." Even if the path is a rocky one - and most of the time the rocks are in the shape of my own poor choices - because of Your unfailing love, You will continue to gently lead me down the path of deliverance from the sin in my heart, for the sake of Your glorious name.

You will:

  ⁹ Rescue me from my enemies, Lord;
I run to you to hide me.
¹⁰ Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
on a firm footing.
¹¹ For the glory of your name, O Lord, 
preserve my life.
Because of your faithfulness, 
bring me out of this distress.

I thank You, Lord, that I do not need to run from You when I feel the weight of my humanity - instead, You call me to run TO You, even to hide in the shadow of Your wings. You will "rescue me from my enemies", which is my sin struggle. You will "preserve my life" and "lead me forward on a firm footing" - I have seen You do it in the past, and I know You will be faithful to keep at it as long as You lend me breath. It is You who will have the victory in my life. Nothing is possible in my own power, but You will "encourage me by giving me strength" (Psalm 138:3).

Let my obedience to You be motivated purely by my love for You - let it never be a futile attempt to make myself feel better or somehow make You love me more.

Merciful Creator, thank You for Your faithful patience with me each day...I rest in the knowledge that You will never give up on me, and that You love me just as much now in my junk as You will when I am one day made perfect in heaven. You are so good!

Amen!